Days Out · February 2020

Climbing fun 09.02.2020

Finding an activity that suits all and is affordable can sometimes be quite challenging. The girls have been asking to go Rock Climbing for a while. I follow a page called Ape Index It is a rock climbing, ninja warrior, activity centre.

They had scaffolding with ladders, ropes, hoops and nets to climb.

There were different heights to jump and swing from.

Pops even managed to find herself a lovely resting place high in a hammock…

With 11 of us going, we managed to walk away with only 3 injuries – and two of those were adult ones!

For £8 per child, we had two hours free play on everything there. They offered refreshments and food at a very reasonable price.

I felt the staff were welcoming, the venue was great value for money and the girls absolutely had a blast! I personally would like to see more cushioning/padding.

What made the whole occasion even better, was being thanked by TwoTone before even leaving the building ❤️

February 2020

Be the Champion.. 08.02.2020

It has been a week where my strength has been utilised.

TwoTone has really struggled with her behaviour this week and got to the point on Thursday where she just couldn’t see a way out of the rollercoaster she had got on. It is so easy to see the challenging behaviour as mean words or aggressive actions, but it takes time, understanding and a whole lot of patience to see beyond those actions and find what is actually needed.

Pops too has been overwhelmed this week, she has begun to recognise the power of her mind and is able to tell us when something is bothering her – which is an incredible step for her. But sometimes, a simple act of going next in the shower can cause a massive meltdown.

DM appears to want to be heard, or rather might be feeling that she isn’t being heard and has decided to ramp up the volume switch. She is such a caring and considerate soul; who’s mind is being taken over by hormones.

Add to this the fact that I am experiencing a overdose of hormones, it certainly makes for a challenging week.

Yes, “poor Peach”, I hear you cry. He is our anchor, he brings calm to our storms and humour to our sass. I am forever grateful to have him as my one, my love and my life. Together we are the champion for our daughters; and he is my saviour. ❤️

February 2020

I am that parent… 04.02.2020

I am that parent who will always be our children’s champion.

I am that parent who will be cheering our daughter on at the sideline.

I am that parent who will hold our daughter tight when she needs a cuddle.

I am that parent who will always encourage our daughters to stand up for what she believes in.

I am that parent that will teach our daughters to be kind and respectful.

I am that parent who will celebrate the crazies.

I am that parent that will dance like no one’s watching.

I am that parent that will wholeheartedly love our daughters with every breathe I take.

But my darling daughters, you also need to know, that I am now, more than ever, that parent who cares less what other people think of me. As long as I am confident that you are safe, I will use any means necessary to make sure that you respect my requests.

And yes, that does mean that if, when we are out wandering around town, you decide to start shutting doors in my face and you wish to start annoying your sister, even after my several quiet requests of leaving her alone, I will be the parent that finds the humour in singing Christmas songs and “I know a song that will get on your nerves” very loudly. I give zero s**ts about the people you think are laughing or staring at me. If it distracts you enough from the unnecessary behaviour you were doing and makes people smile (myself included) – I’m there!! I am that Parent ❤️

February 2020

To do list… 03.02.2020

On reflection, this is how my to do list should have looked this morning. Instead my bright yellow post it note was filled with, call…., reply to ……., chase ……, speak to…….., meet with….., text……. ironing….

Whilst at twin club my friends were chuckling at my list and my mission to complete it.

How often do we set our physical to do list to one side and work on our inner self to do list! Take time to breathe, sit back and listen to a book, take a walk for the sake walking. As I picked up our girls from school, I walked home hand in hand with Aj (Pops walking ahead having a happy little chat with herself), we saw birds in the hedge beside us. They were so close we could see the colours of their petals and the type of birds they were. AJ and I had a lovely chuckle at seeing Sam the Great Tit there.

I am so very grateful for the luxury of being able to be with our girls at these times. I love the cuddles on the settee watching The Masked Singer, I love the idle chit chat over dinner and I love the hand in hand wanders whilst observing the world around us.

February 2020

One step at a time 02.02.2020

Our beautiful precious DiddyPops. She’s constantly keeping us on our toes with her bubbling emotions. She was given the fantastic opportunity by her school to attend a drama day at another local high school yesterday. Pops was over the moon to be invited and thoroughly enjoyed her day.

Pops is currently receiving play therapy through CAMHS to help with her anxiety. Since she was 6 years old, Pops has suffered with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), in recent years she has developed a variety of tics and has rages that you honestly wouldn’t believe could come from such a gentle being.

We have had various appointments with paediatricians, dieticians, neurologists, school nurses and GP’s, including various training sessions on encouraging positive behaviour in young children.

We often find Pops in her bedroom, on her own, happily playing with her Monster High Dolls.

However, it’s Pops that will worry that she doesn’t want to be seen as mean, she will worry that she heard someone say something hurtful and she’ll be the first to notice that you have beautiful nails, a new haircut or a lovely top on. She worry’s that her army inside her (what we have called her immune system) is dying when she feels overwhelmed.

Tonight she has gone to bed asking about her next play therapy session. Peach and I agreed that we wouldn’t tell her when they are as she frets about it, constantly asking questions, reminding us not to forget and telling us what she thinks she might be doing and what she might miss at school. Pops had a session on Friday last week and I made the mistake of giving her the letter with the appointments on. She knows this will be the last one, and appears to be playing the appointment over and over in her mind.

We can do this Pops, one step at a time. Take our hands, we’ll help you through it. ❤️

February 2020

Oh yes we did…. 01.02.2020

Lots of fun was had today and I’ve witnessed plenty of smiles too ☺️

Our day started with a visit to the bank – not much fun for most people, but another big part of laying foundations for our foster daughter. 2T has wanted her own bank account since moving in with us. I have been asking that we are given the relevant paperwork to enable us to do this for quite some time. For me, I feel that showing her how much we have pursued this on her behalf and the lengths we have gone to, have shown her just how much she means to use and we will always strive for the best for her – even if it means sitting outside offices waiting for paperwork to be signed. 2T got her account today and I got a genuine thank you 😍

The afternoon was spent in the theatre. The little three are lucky to have such fabulous Brownie & Guide leaders, that are proactive and organised a trip to watch Aladdin at the Concordia Theatre, Hinckley. We had a wonderful time, lots of laughter and such a great stage performance. I love how pantomime is suitable for all age groups, it’s a chance for families to come together, laugh and get involved too. What also made me smile at the pantomime was to see so many familiar faces, two of which were people that I went to Primary School with. Great to see you Steph & Steve 😊

We got home, had tea and then all snuggled up and watched the new Disney Aladdin on DVD. I must admit, I was nervous to watch it. For me the Genie will always be Robin Williams 😢 However, hats off to Will Smith as it really was a good movie!

A great day all round and while I have your attention, I want to thank you again for reading my blogs. Rachel, you really made me smile today, thank you xx

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9 rules to live by – 30.01.2020

Today I watched a video of a graduation speech by comedian Tim Minchin. The speech were his belief of 9 rules to live by, and I personally found them very powerful. If you get the chance, I would recommend that you watch the video of it (link in name).

However, in brief, these are his 9 rules to live by:

1. You Don’t Have To Have A Dream.

If you have something that you’ve always dreamed of, like, in your heart, go for it! After all, it’s something to do with your time… chasing a dream.

Just be aware that the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery. Which is why you should be careful of long-term dreams. If you focus too far in front of you, you won’t see the shiny thing out the corner of your eye.

2. Don’t Seek Happiness

Happiness is like an orgasm: if you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy, and you might find you get some as a side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content.

3. Remember, It’s All Luck

You are lucky to be here. You were incalculably lucky to be born.

Understanding that you can’t truly take credit for your successes, nor truly blame others for their failures will humble you and make you more compassionate.

Empathy is intuitive, but is also something you can work on, intellectually.

4. Exercise

Play a sport, do yoga, pump iron, run… whatever… but take care of your body. You’re going to need it. And this long, luxurious life ahead of you is going to make you depressed!

But don’t despair! There is an inverse correlation between depression and exercise. Do it. Run, my beautiful intellectuals, run.

5. Be Hard On Your Opinions

We must think critically, and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs. Take them out onto the verandah and beat them with a cricket bat.

Be intellectually rigorous. Identify your biases, your prejudices, your privilege.

6. Be a teacher.

Please? Please be a teacher. Teachers are the most admirable and important people in the world. You don’t have to do it forever, but if you’re in doubt about what to do, be an amazing teacher. Even if you’re not a Teacher, be a teacher. Share your ideas. Don’t take for granted your education. Rejoice in what you learn, and spray it.

7. Define Yourself By What You Love

We have tendency to define ourselves in opposition to stuff, but try to also express your passion for things you love. Be demonstrative and generous in your praise of those you admire. Send thank-you cards and give standing ovations. Be pro-stuff, not just anti-stuff.

8. Respect People With Less Power Than You.

I have, in the past, made important decisions about people I work with – agents and producers – based largely on how they treat wait staff in restaurants. I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So there.

9. Don’t Rush.

You don’t need to already know what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. Most people I know who were sure of their career path at 20 are having midlife crisis.

I said at the beginning of this ramble that life is meaningless. It was not a flippant assertion. I think it’s absurd: the idea of seeking “meaning” in the set of circumstances that happens to exist after 13.8 billion years worth of unguided events. Leave it to humans to think the universe has a purpose for them. However, I am no nihilist. I am not even a cynic. I am, actually, rather romantic. And here’s my idea of romance:

You will soon be dead. Life will sometimes seem long and tough and, god, it’s tiring. And you will sometimes be happy and sometimes sad. And then you’ll be old. And then you’ll be dead.

There is only one sensible thing to do with this empty existence, and that is: fill it. Not fillet. Fill. It.

Life is best filled by learning as much as you can about as much as you can, taking pride in whatever you’re doing, having compassion, sharing ideas, running(!), being enthusiastic. And then there’s love, and travel, and wine, and sex, and art, and kids, and giving, and mountain climbing … but you know all that stuff already.

It’s an incredibly exciting thing, this one, meaningless life of yours. Good luck