October 2021

Locked in my heart – 09.10.2021

I love charm bracelets. I have always felt an inner connection with them. I have a permanent charm bracelet on my wrists thanks to Jeremy of Hellcats Tattoo Parlour. Each charm represents an important and memorable chapter in my life. Chapters that I am grateful for; chapters that have made me the person I am today.

The picture above is my most recent charm bracelet. I bought this for myself as a self-love gift for my birthday.

My birthday this year was quite an emotional affair. I’m not going to lie, but at the time, I felt like it was the day after my heart had split in two.

On the day before my birthday we had said goodbye to our foster daughter. Unfortunately we had been put in a position whereby a decision was taken out of our hands to have her removed from our family.

This young lady had been a part of our family for 23 months. It wasn’t a planned fostering; she needed a place to stay and we opened our home and hearts to her. We accepted her as one of our own daughters and loved her so.

Seeing her leave, knowing that it could never be the same again and this time it would be the final goodbye ripped right through me. It wasn’t what we had promised to do. But sometimes, our journey is not the same one planned for others, and that was a hard lesson to learn.

I bought the charm bracelet and each charm represents the family I share my home with, and whilst 2T can never be a part of our home again, she will always be locked in my heart.

Today we got to visit 2T at her new home. There was a lot of emotions to work through together as our last time together was the day she left. We have spoke several times she since left, but actually being together in person is a very different experience.

We had the chance to see those that she lives with, take Kylo for a walk together and then share a cuppa and chocolate bar. 2T had bought me several lovely, thoughtful gifts for my birthday; recognising that she hadn’t had the chance to share that with me before she left. However, she clearly holds me in higher regard as she genuinely thought I’d share chocolate – pah! No chance! 😂

We have had a wonderful afternoon. We had to have a tough conversation about choices, and learning from our past experiences. I truly do hope that she recognises the potential she has in herself.

We have had many, many good times together. Whilst saying Goodbye back in June was a very difficult time in our lives, both myself and Peach can see the positive impact we had on 2T by simply showering her with love, connection and family.

I hope that in years to come, she will remain a part of our family. I hope that she can find that connection and happiness. And most of all, I hope she can see and accept that she deserves to be loved. ❤️

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